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  • Writer's pictureUmi

Depression; a journey, part II - Growth

Updated: Mar 3, 2021

Hey lovelies! I'm back with part II of the journey, the last post was quite emotional but this one should be more of a light hearted one! Let me start by saying how grateful I am for the people that have stuck by me these past fews years, my parents, my cousins, my best friends & aunts, I'm super thankful and wouldn't be the person I am today without any of you all. I've grown so much love and understanding for people and situations in general and through everything that's happened. My heart is even bigger and ready to take on so many new experiences!


Any type of mental transformation isn't easy, it takes time, patience and dedication to become who you aspire to be, which is a huge process that most people go through. I spoke about my mental struggles and hard times in part I which I wanted to tell to let everyone know nothing bad lasts forever. This is me growing and glowing and sharing my coping and self care tips with you, enjoy!


Love and appreciation


It's safe to say after everything that happened my gratitude and love levels for life and everything around me has shot up a substantial amount. I appreciate my friends a lot more than I used to, as well as the places I get to go and the opportunities I'm offered. When it comes to gratitude, people think you have to preach it aloud and tell everyone how much they mean to you but that's not the case. You can write lists of things you're grateful for everyday or a couple of times a week, you can sit and remind yourself how lucky you are and how blessed you are compared to others. The real outcome with this comes internally and it doesn't hurt to say some kind things to yourself every once in a while.


At the time of my struggles I noticed every little mean remark, every bit of bitter behaviour and every bad person around me because I was solely focused on the negative. This was bad since it was consuming and cynical, but at the same time it made me realise how much kindness and love needed to be spread. Nowadays I try to practice this as much as I can, I have those little conversations in my head where I think "right, what can I do to make a positive impact to someones day?". Whether it's my mom, dad, friend or a stranger, I think its good to practice kindness and spread positivity. You don't know how it could change someones day and this is just one of many things I learnt after my story.


As well as love and appreciation for others the most important part was the love I grew for myself. Anything that isn't for me, anything that is toxic to me, anything that disturbs my peace now, has to go! Before this, I would let people walk all over me because I was super insecure and hated myself, but I've learnt to respect myself after everything I came through. Being able to stand here and tell everyone is something amazing and anyone else who does the same I give all the credit where it's due.


I can't think of anything more important than the relationship with yourself, that's where everything starts and that's how you set goals and boundaries with people. Without self respect, no one will have any consideration to you. No respect for yourself is showing others how to treat you. Healthy relationships with other people come from a stable relationship with your own mind, remember not to live for someone else, you're your own person and you are amazing without anyone else.


Use it to your advantage


Although the hardships we go through in life are something we'd never want to visit again, I truly appreciate that it happened as I wouldn't be writing this today. I learnt so many lessons from it, too many to even list. My most useful lesson is not letting anyone treat you any less than you deserve and cutting anyone off who is a toxin to your life. It doesn't matter If you've known someone for a long time, if they're showing you bad behaviour then you take it and act on it. The biggest mistake I made was making excuses for poisonous people in my life, it paid no benefit to me in any way. The best thing you can do is get rid of anything that isn't wholesome towards you, it will make you feel so much better. You may be scared to be lonely which is why you don't want to cut others off, but I know I'd rather work on myself than put my energy into irrelevant people.


This made me wiser for my own good. I find it easier to spot the things I don't need or want in my life. I also have no problem confronting people about it (if needed). I see no problem with hitting the block button and getting on with my day! It's your life and you shouldn't feel guilty for doing what's best for you, (I know I don't).


I feel a lot more grown now and ready to take on the good things in life, I'm glad it happened when I was younger so I can benefit from it now, needless to say that doesn't mean you won't have bad days. I pulled through everything that was thrown at me but I still feel it's absolutely necessary to remind myself I'm human, I have emotions, and I'm a teenager which means sometimes I'm gonna have those down days, which is completely fine. I allow myself to feel the way I need to, but I think about how I'm not going to worsen it and what I'm gonna do to help myself in the future. Let yourself feel every emotion but don't let it consume you. Growth will spout every time you face a hardship.


Building myself


Now my mind is stable and I've set those boundaries and goals for myself, I can build the important aspects of my life however I want to, which is amazing. One of the most rewarding things in life is seeing yourself grow and progress into the person you've always aspired to be. I'm still learning how to be more confident within certain things each day and not let other peoples remarks effect me, but no one is perfect and sometimes we let stupid things get to us. Usually the people that have something bad to say about you are the ones who aren't happy with themselves, jealousy isn't a good look.


My mind is open to so many new things now that it all adds character to me. It builds myself in so many different ways. I'm trying to put my love and enthusiasm into things that will benefit me, even if its school. No one likes studying or working but this year I'm going in with a positive outlook since it'll benefit me in the long run. I think we should work on the best things about ourselves and show them off, be proud and able to speak about what you love in confidence. I want to take every chance I can to educate myself academically and lifewise, I want to motivate myself to be someone who makes a difference to other people! Like I'm doing now, I also see no wrong in speaking your goals and putting them into perspective.


The blog also helped give my past more purpose, it wasn't just something negative that I can throw away. It's something that has added lessons to my life, something that I can now use to help others who have gone through the same thing. Every little thing builds meaning and purpose but only if you want it to, life is what you make it to be! Which is why when the struggle is over you should use the lessons to your full advantage, I like to think that everything happens for a reason. If something good happens, great! If not, there's always a valuable lesson that comes out of it no matter how big or small.


Consistency


The last most important thing I learnt was being consistent with your self care. To stay in this mindset you absolutely must do everything good for yourself, respect yourself and keep that healthy communication between your mind and real life. Always remind yourself it's a bad day and not a bad life, you are allowed to have bad days and things are allowed to go wrong but it's about bouncing back and growing from each experience you go through whether that's bad or good.


Never doubt yourself, your body and mind can go through amazing things and still stand stronger at the end, we are unstoppable and there's no limit to what we can achieve as long as you are kind to yourself and believe in yourself!


I'm really thankful for everyone who saw me through this journey over the years. For those that are still with me I love you and appreciate your patience and support, I'm happy to be able to guide myself and others within everyday life and I feel that this was a blessing in disguise, no matter how hard it was. Remember everything that happens, happens for a reason and you can push through anything as long as you keep going. Anything is possible!


Much love, Umi. ♡


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